FLAGSHIP · #001
FLAGSHIP FIGURE · #001
BOB STONE
“Small Sign Energy… Big Dreams” — Woke. Angry. Well Hydrated.
- 🪧 Protest sign (“WOKE” with rainbow)
- 🥒 Organic cucumber of accountability
- 💧 “Stay Woke” hydration bottle
- 📕 “How To Cancel Culture” guidebook
- 🐔 Emotional-support rubber chicken
$39.99
AGES 14+
Parody collectible. All accessories plastic. No actual activism included.
THE FULL LINEUP
14 deeply unserious figures · every box stamped AGES 14+ · all checkout is pretend
QUESTIONS NOBODY ASKED
Is this real activism?
No. It’s plastic satire. Touch grass, then buy a figure.
Will I be charged?
No. PayPal, Stripe and crypto buttons are mocked demos. Nothing leaves your browser.
Who is Woke Bob?
A bomb with googly eyes and big cancellation energy. Fictional. Obviously.
Why ages 14+?
Because the jokes need a fully developed eye-roll muscle.